Old forum > I had a dream the other night

Just found this piece of classic literature, originally penned by Jeff Wood and titled "I had adream the other night" it may give some newer members of the club, that never got the chance to meet him, an idea of the talent and CLASSIC sense of humor he had.

I had arranged to go for my long run on a Sunday morning with John Plain, as he usually kept me amused talking about his injuries, illnesses etc:... I called at his house at about nine o clock and there he stood, a picture of health. We set off at steady seven minute miling and chatting amiably, with me deliberately keeping off the subject of injuries. We had gone about a mile before John managed to squeeze in a reference to his flat foot and as always happens when John gets onto his favourite subject, the pace picked up. I thought to myself "I wonder how fast he could go without his foot". Just then his foot fell off and he increased the pace.
I noticed that his style had altered very little considering he was running with only one foot, then he started telling me about his klicking knees, when his legs fell off. This did have a very marked effect on his style, he was now travelling like a high speed pogo stick He now moved onto problems with his sex life, but the fact that his ********* dropped off didn't appear to alter his style much, his voice just got noticeably higher. He had just moved onto the riveting subject of his piles, when his bum dropped off.

His style had deteriorated badly by now,but he accelerated yet again to tell me about his bad back, bad chest, stomache problems and sore throat.
His disembodied head bounded along beside me and I struggled to keep up as he told me about his headaches. He then disappeared completely.
Thankfully I eased off the pace but a voice beside me said "come on I'm feeling great"

since I was still carrying my body with me there was no chance of me keeping up with John even if I could see him, but I tried to slow him down by making conversation. "no other problems then John?"

Still funny, innit.

August 7, 2013 at 6:54 PM | Unregistered CommenterOriginal Author Jeff Wood

hahaa..THAT is really funny. Love it!

August 7, 2013 at 7:47 PM | Unregistered CommenterAi-Lin 'Missing-in- Action' Kee

I once did a training run with Jeff and John. Jeff and I lived in Africa Gardens, and he ran to my house. We moved on to John's in New Zealand Rd, and run along the Taff Trail to Whitchurch canal. We went to the end of the canal, ran up the hill into the wooded area above the canal, and ran quickly on the narrow windy path. Jeff and I wore Nile shoes with good grip, John wore road flats. It was very slippery, and John didn't make it around one of the corners, and slid off the path, with a 200 foot sheer drop down to the canal. John grabbed hold of a bush to save himself, and cried out, "FFS help me!". We couldn't. Jeff and I were laughing too much, joking about having to tell John's wife he had fallen 200 feet into the canal and drowned! Oh happy days.

August 7, 2013 at 8:45 PM | Unregistered CommenterPhilip Hexter